TACO BELL'S BEEFY CRUNCH BURRITO GENIUS OR RETARD?

The best part of the Beefy Crunch Burrito is crapping it out.  While eating a Beefy Crunch Burrito, you have activated a GIANT shit-bomb with a 2 minute ticker.  Eat cautiously.  The following entry will prove that this 500 calorie cheesy, beefy, crunchy Mexican Goop of SOMETHING, is SOMETHING I never want to taste again.

BE WARNED!  Looking straight into the burrito after your first bite is not advisable, as you will be attacked by red Fritos GAWKING out at you like deadly serpents from Hell!   Isn't it interesting how the Frito Lay company is owned by Taco Bell, and now the rest of us have to suffer during these inhumane experiments!  God forbid you get the Frito-Burrito to-go, as your hungry stomach will be welcomed by crap beef and soggy red Fritos turning this disaster into tragedy!  As far as the Flame'n Hot slogan which “blow your brains out spicy,” all I can say is my brains were NOT "blown."

All in all this is an age old Taco Bell mistake.  Doesn't anyone remember the short lived Chili Cheese Burrito which was also accompanied with Frito corn chips?   Add this steamy pile with red chips poke'n out to the archives with the rest of Taco Bell's downfalls.   Such as:  The Baja Chicken Chalupa, The Meximelt, The Zesty Chicken Bowl, Apple Empenadas, The Super Taco, The Chaco Taco, The Enchurrito, and the late great Shrimp Taco.  But of course my favorite, The Morning After Burrito.

My burrito was wrapped in the "Featured Item" paper, as if Taco Bell was puzzled on how to exhibit the food. 




Furthermore, is Taco Bell losing its touch?  After I ordered my Beefy Crunch Burrito from the respectable T-Bell lady with thicker sideburns than my own, I was scolded "DO NOT PUT SODA IN THE WATER CUP!"  Really?  I gotta be yelled at while I try to quench my thirst to mans most vital binary compound? (water for the layman...)  No need to stress Taco Bell, I have the answer to boost you back to the top!  A deep fried burrito.  We'll call it The Monte Cristo, or The Monte Cristo Supreme!  Or Chimichanga... Overall, the greatest part of tonight's Taco Bell experience was the extra hot sauce I added to my already huge bag of Taco Bell hot sauce at home.  Fire fo' life!

 
All in all I rate the Beefy Crunch Burrito 1/10.  SAVE YOURSELF!  Even Jesus didn't have to make this much of a sacrifice.