YACHT CLUB MEMBER FOR A DAY

The airs just a little sweeter and the drinks a little stronger at THE YACHT CLUB.

We've all wondered what it would be like to pass through those double doors, make that walk up the stairs, grab a drink at the bar and look down on everyone else in society.  Well, yesterday I joined that elite club!   Yes readers, the Santa Barbara YACHT CLUB is a place where you can relax and just have a real conversation with someone.  Except Mexicans...  And Blacks...  And Asians.   Is it inappropriate to say "Orientals?"  I was always under the impression that Oriental was a safer call than Asian...  Anyway, you won't find any of those guys at the yacht club...  I mean this isn't the Port Hueneme Yacht Club.  But what you will find are A LOT of old white guys.

And what better way to pop my cherry than to be chauffeured by The Commodore (1991) himself!   Hanging out with The Commodore at THE YACHT CLUB, is like something something Rob Schneider.  Kinda a big deal.  Some of you may be asking yourselves:

"What does The Commodore drink at THE YACHT CLUB?"

I'll tell you what he drinks, the biggest damn glass of red wine he can put his little Commodore hands on!!!   Also Skyy Pineapple Vodka.  Ya... That was uh...   That was a surprise...

Even though for one day I was among the elite of society, members of THE YACHT CLUB came off as a little... salty.  Yes there were Polo and Nautica shirts worn by many, but boat owners smell of a different breed.  Un-showered, smelly, yellow teeth, it's like hanging out with the bad guys from Pinocchio.



Conversations you may overhear at the yacht club:

• Funny boat names- Yeah Buoy, Master-Baiter, Aqua-holic , Reel Hooker
• Sailor Jokes:

 "You know what they say about those Port Hueneme Yacht Club Members. 

  If you don't sleep on your back someone will!"

• And of course the shady perve conversations:

"Is that Dorothy Clemens little girl?  Boy she's got an ass that'll swallow up a G-string!"

In closing, I hope this entry has give'n you the gist of what "Wet Wednesday" at THE YACHT CLUB is all about.  I always thought gist was spelled with a j like jist.  Sometimes I feel like my spell check purposely makes me look bad.  Like a Jewish editor at a Nazi news press.  That would be interesting.  Why havent they made that movie yet?  Lazy Ben Stiller. 

Here's to you yacht club, I will see you in my dreams!

Does the career advice, "Come early on your first day" apply in the porn business?